Pixie's Singing

Saw it too many times on pinterest. It has never struck me hard till now. In the end we really can’t control of what other people will do, feel, react, treat us, we can control nothing. It hurts, it sucks and we ask why. Sometimes we got the answer, but most of the time we don’t. Well I don’t. From a single thought, it then became a spider web, when I realize it, it’s already too complicated and guess what, I’m trapped in the middle of it. Funny. I created my own spiderweb and got stuck. Just because of one single why. Just because I never let go at the right time. How can we let go when it still linger in our mind? Exactly. I don’t know the answer. Then one day, I woke up and got sick of this situation and wrecked myself from it. That hurts too. So many loses, so many heartaches, so many whys. Then really it feels useless to ask why. It’s exhausting to keep holding on and hurt yourself at the same time. Out of exhaustion I gave up. Deliberating? Yes. Sad? Yes. But it gets easier day b

I just watched this movie today. And I’ve been enjoying watching Netflix’s original series as for me it’s like a fresh air for movie choices. Netflix’s series are more like current life situation. The issue, the actors and actresses, I like how it’s not always just black and white. Life has more layers than that.  Anyway, this movie is a process of young person to get to know themselves. What they like, what they think, what they do. It’s all simple yet complicated. Like teenager’s life. Exactly.  “Love is not pretending” is one of the sentences in the movie. Which I found very true. Sometimes we’re blinded with so many things. Sometimes we forget to be honest and accept who we are. But yes, love isn’t pretending. “Have you ever loved someone so much, you don’t want any of her to change?” 

There are many times that things don’t go the way you want it. More storms to come one after the other before you can even catch a breath. Leaving you sitting by the dock, looking at the ocean and its never ending dynamic and just wonder. Will you ever going through it? Will you be fine? Did you do fine? Are you doing the right thing. Or sometimes even question what the hell are you doing. Life has always this funny ways to teach you something. Even when it doesn’t seem like it most of the days. After all the rains and more storms to come. There will maybe a time when you can sit quietly and breath. Keep it steady for a while. Then you realize. Sometimes there’s no conclusion at all. You don’t understand it but something came to an end. And there you are. Just standing and being confused. Didn’t recall when things slipped away. Something you thought was still in your hand, it isn’t. It wasn’t. Then you find the urge to seek for the answers, to talk it out, to have another conversation,