Pixie's Singing

i just wonder how you can survive with all those loneliness. i've been sick for today, just sleeping and resting the whole day. noone's around, just talked few times with my sister. and a bit with my friends. i can't bear how lonely it is. i can't imagine how you can survive with that, in jakarta, with your job. wow. another thought came to my mind. i can't ever have the life you have now. i can't keep up with your type of life. a lot of people said you aren't mine. and if i wanna open my eyes that big, i will see reasons why i should be happy with what we have now. walking in different path. it will be such a miracle if one day we will cross each other's path once more. but well, for now i think i should be happy with our situation. i am happy for you and your career. i hope you will never be the bad guy. :)

I dreamed about you few days ago. we went to one reception together. i can see you're walking besides me. and i can see all of our high school friends, staring at us. i was nervous for a reason i can't remember. i was afraid they're talking bad about me or something. i can see their eyes are looking for a fact whether we're together or no. and you gave your hand to me. like in some old movies. and we're holding hands. you told me "now you're not worry anymore right". and i was shocked. i told you i never think it will happen. and you told me that it's finally happening. i was so happy. the scenes were changing and we're meeting my bali friends. we're getting along so well. and we're in another scene. you're eating something and somebody told me "oh he liked it too, just like you. even both of you are different, you're alike in few things" and i just smiled while you're still eating. it was a perfect dream. exactl...

"Segitu ngga beraninya kamu? segitu ngga percayanya?"

we bumped in again. we came back to this point again. when i'm asking you whether we're just friends and you answered me with no . i thought this time we'll be different. i thought this time we'll finally stop running away from our pr oblem and start to confront it. i thought finally things are getting right between us, well pr obabl y it is. i a m a person who will get out an d gra b anything i want. it's better for me to go outside , try to work things out, and fail. inste ad of sta ying inside my safety box and never try things out, and dont know what could happen. that 's the real fail for me. i somehow wish you just t old me 'yes i just want you to know my feeling for th ese years. and i want you to know that i choose my ambition over you'. that's quite simple and logical i suppose. well, again, probably i he ar d it wrong. probably i misinterpret it.  but anyway, here we are again. continuin g our li fe again . and i think this time is f...

my current everything =) it ends when it ends. i have kept my hope and dreams for a very long time. waiting for miracle to happen in my life. but when i realize, it doesn't happen in the way i want it to be. it was damn hard to let him go. but i know..i couldn't keep him forever, if he never want to be here as well. =) i pray for my life and yours. to be fine like it was. goodbye =) Tuhan, Tuhan baik banget sih. =)

tomorrow i'll fly to china. horeeeeeeeeeee ^^ can't wait. hehehhehehe. hope i can enjoy my holiday lalalalalalla~ hari ini peking2. dan menurut timbangan di depan cuma 10kg. tpi gue kurang pcy ma tu timbangan. =P mudah2an aja ga lebih dari 15 kg. hehhehehe. senang deh ^^v lagi dengerin lagu yg dikasih sama aji td. cuma dikasih 2 tuz gue dw 1 album. yg enak ternyata emank cuma 2. sisanya enak sih. tpi yg paling enak ya 2 ituh. heehhe. senang. endah n resa. enak2 banget. ada official website nya. bisa liat lirik lagunya disana. hihihi~ ada salah2nya sih tpi mendingan daripada gada sama sekali. hohoo~ thx u =)

anyway ini sbuh. dan gue skali lagi belom tidur. phew. okay..i'm reading a book which reminds me of someone. what can i call him with? ehm..a real best friend, someone who nearly reaches the definion of 'good', someone who has been treating me so well, my (ex?) crush and vice versa =P, someone i do really miss these days. i don't know what i do feel now. it's kinda confusing to differentiate my own feeling and my own hope. mix up in some places. =( my impatient side involves so much. my egoist side also does the same. haaha. i don't know. i maybe will never be a perfect girl, or even a good girl. haha. i am confused where the world would bring me to. i'm clueless about my own feeling and his. and i don't know. i just want to call him up, listen he answers me, talks for few hours, and get the comfortable feeling i always feel whenever i talk to him, in proper time, not 2 seconds coversation like i ask him whether he's busy or not and he answers yes. T...

huehehhe...feel better day by day =) uhmm..finally i have submitted the doorgift and invitation assignment but i didn't take any photo because my camera was borrowed by mike. hehehe. but it's okay since i think i'll ge it back later. hahahaha. wanna know the dorgift? it's pink, big, but not heavy miracolously. hahaha. it's a complete set of dinnerware for children. and the invitation. i think it's just a simple and not so interesting. hehhehe. the sticker material helps me a bit. XD anyway FINALLY IT'S DONE!!!! hehhhee. after a very long time while i was collecting my good mood. hehehhe. IT'S DONE!! yeeyyyy~ so know i have the same assignments number like my friends. hihi~ means that i have to be able to finish it like them =) uhmm...yes, i'm a very impatient girl. i can't wait for a long time without clue and information how long i have to wait. hehhehee. i'm a very egoist person also. and i usually think by my own mind but follow what my he...

udah lama yak gak upload2 ni blog. hahahah. eniwey...kemaren sempet ngerasa suntuk tuk tuk tuk banget sama kehidupan gue. bosen abisnya. serumah pada pulang. pacarannya ma tugas. wakakak.. males banget lama2 XD kemaren uda cukup sih refreshingnya. dan bru tw mg depan ternyata tugas cuma 1 dikumpul. haha. horee..meskipun yg laen harus berprogres juga sih sebenernya XD seneng2in diri aja dulu lah. hahhaahah....tar da mule kliah lagi. hehe. kembali ke kehidupan nyata XD duh mudah2an bisa kelar semua tugasnya amin =) if it's another chance. if it's another way. and if it's true. let it be true. let it be real. let me know the answer. let me know what i do want too. amen =D

hehee..jem 8 pagi ne dan baru bangun. tumbenaann bisa bangun pagi. hahaha. asik abis. kemaren tidur ga lama. jem 2an gt baru tidur. wew. cuma bentar dong ya. hehehe. ia ne sayang. gue pikir bakal sampe lama gtuh. huhuh~ tuz td bangun gara2 laper dong. hahaha..alesan gue bagus banget yak XD yah gituh deh. ga pingin tidur lagi ah. mule ngerjain packaging ajah. =) tpi nanti abis nulis blog. hahahah. emank dasar milih =D uhmmm...hidup dengan segala hal di dalemnya. hahaha. again. iya abis selalu bikin gue amazed dengan sgala yang ada sih. i did many things wrong i guess XD and it changed everything at once. =) gue ngerasa semua brubah. keadaan yang kemaren ngga ada lagi. that for once, i felt that finally we're given another chance to share the same way together. but maybe i ruined it by my own self. =) dunno. hehe. the day isn't about to come. i ruined it. XD

if that's okay with you I love the way that you look without your makeup I had a girl before we met but we broke up There's something 'bout you that makes me want to step up Step up and be with you If that's okay with you We'll keep the neighbors awake too late too late Coz imma make you feel so good that's how i see it's happening yeah we'll keep the neighbors awake too late too late Coz baby I wanna step up and be with you if that's okay with you I'm gonna make you feel like you're heaven on earth I'm gonna thank your mother just for giving you birth I'm gonna wanna hold you in my arms when you cry if that's okay with you if that's okay with you I wanna keep your toothbrush at my apartment Make a second set of keys and ask you to move in I'm not crazy I know what I'm getting myself in I wanna live with you If that's okay with you I'm gonna make you feel like you're heaven on earth ...

finally gue punya ide buat packaging. thx God =) gtw sih diterima atau ngga. musti bikin mock up juga nantinya =P nanti aja aaaaaaaa..cape.ahahahahhaha. abiz ngeteh di mamak bareng anak2. b4 ajah sih. hehe. gaya banget deh. cara refreshing baru. ngeteh di mamak. wakakakkak..padahal punya lyche roses tea di rumah. wehehehhe..tpi kan seru bareng2 =) if only i could turn back time....

uhm...jem 4 pagi neh. haha. tadinya mo ngerjain packaging. tpi...hehehhe..gak mood mendadak. ga enak badan juga. jadinya yah gituh deh. hehe. tadi chat sama sahabat gue. one of the angels that i have in my life. =) thx God. for lift me up when i'm down. always. You're the greatest ever. =) time will answer. i have heard about it thousand times. sometimes i really hate this phrase. because..hahah. i'm maybe an egoist and unpatient person. i always want the answer to come to me as soon as possible. so i won't overthink about it and become a paranoid because of my own mind. hehe. it's stressing. but actually wait for time to give you the answer is not that bad..i know one fact. one answer for my question. it's just came in a right time. and it feels so...fine? hhee. i can't find a word to describe it. it's just beautiful. it makes me regret a few things in my life though. but..yeah..life must go on. and it's going on and on and on...and maybe...this is ...

taking my time right now. to think about lotsa things stuck in my mind. hehe..kapan sih otak gue kosong dan normal2 aja? hahahaha..kayanya ngga pernah =P kemaren gue dapet kabar. finally dia putus sama ce itu. dan yaaa pertamanya gue berpikir gue akan seneng. bcoz i'd get second chance. tapi setelah beberapa saat gue berpikir. ternyata tidak. =) ya udah ngga ada efeknya apa2 sama gue. seneng ngga sedih apalagi. hahahahaha..yeah maybe i'm done with him =) tanpa paksaan dan influence dari siapa2. seneng ajah sih. akhirnya bener2 sadar kalo bisa relain dia dan udahan sama dia. selama ni gue berpikir kalo gue masih sayang sama dia. dan entah kenapa gue sadarnya justru di saat sekarang ini. hahahahaha..gtw lah. intinya gue bener2 ngga ada feeling lagi sama dia. yah tetep, he's one of my best friends ever. =) tapi yahh sebates itu ajah. dan ternyata emank lebih enak merelakan dengan cara begini. when i am ready to let go. hehe. pertama gue pikir dia ngga bakal tergantikan. dan te...

hay..hehe..kerjaan gue kayanya tiap ari sama ajah ya. mayan bosan. tapi udah sedikit agak kebal nampaknya. preparing everything as i'm leaving to malaysia soon. hehe. lotsa ppl ask whether i get nervous or not. hmm..maybe not. heheheh..i feel excited bout it =) dunno why. hahahah..kinda afraid. soalnya smester 2 tuh gambarnya orang semua. dah tau gue ga bisa gambar orang sama sekali. hahahahhah..liad ajah lah nanti. wakakakaka~ hmm..gue menyadari ini beberapa hari yg lalu. that i'll never be able to forget him. =) he's still there. with the same comfy, smile, laugh, words, and warmth. i thought i'd lose him. and everything will never be the same again. hehe..maybe i'm wrong. actually i'm so glad that my thought was wrong. =) i talk almost everything to him without my mask on my face. so did he. and i'm so glad that we feel the same thing. that we don't have to put our mask on when we're talking. hehehehe...it's nice. and ya..he knows me like i do...

Will you count me in? I've been awake for a while now You've got me feelin' like a child now Cause everytime I see your bubbly face I get the tingles in a silly place It starts in my toes And I crinkle my nose Where ever it goes I always know That you make me smile Please stay for a while now Just take your time Where ever you go The rain is fallin' on my window pane But we are hidin' in a safer place Under cover staying dry and warm You give me feelins that I adore They start in my toes Make me crinkle my nose Where ever it goes I always know That you make me smile Please stay for a while now Just take your time Where ever you go What am I gonna say When you make me feel this way I just-mmm.. It starts in my toes Makes me crinkle my nose Where ever it goes I always know That you make me smile Please stay for a while now Just take your time Where ever you go Dada dada dadada dada dum.. Mmm mmm.. I've been asleep for a while now You tuck me in just li...

bukan malam yang kan menggelapiku bukan dingin yang kan membekukanku tapi dirimu di sana s'lalu saja berdusta saat jarak memisahkan kita haruskah sesali janji yang dulu saat ku terpikat indah hadirmu kini semua kau ingkari hatiku kau lukai tak percaya mudah saja kau lupakan kita reff: dan kini kau temukan dia di sana yg sanggup memberikan semua yg ku tak punya semoga kau bahagia di dalam peluknya semua pun tlah sirna, tlah sirna another song from cokelat. ^^ gue juga suka ma yg nih. jangan tanya lah kenapa. hahahahaha..yg mirip sama keadaan gue sekarang cuma reff nya ajah sih ^^ yaya i'm done with him. heheheh..sudah waktunya move on bener2. =P kemaren gue cerita soal alesannya dia bilang ngga sama koko gue. dan dia bilang, "ngga harus kenal lu dalem2 banget buat tau ciri lu yg 1 itu. itu bukan ciri lu yg tersamar" hehehehe..ternyataa..mungkin bener. bahwa dia ngga kenal gue seperti apa yg selama ni gue pikir. sudahlah. hehe..akirnya gue bener2 menemukan jawaban ...

If I had no more time No more time left to be here Would you cherish what we had? Was it everything that you were looking for? If I couldn’t feel your touch And no longer were you with me I’d be wishing you were here To be everything that I’d be looking for I don’t wanna forget the present is a gift And I don’t wanna take for granted the time you may have here with me ‘Cause Lord only knows another day is not really guaranteed So every time you hold me Hold me like this is the last time Every time you kiss me Kiss me like you’ll never see me again Every time you touch me Touch me like this is the last time Promise that you’ll love me Love me like you’ll never see me again Oh Oh Ohhhhh How many really know what love is? Millions never will Do you know until you lose it [Like You'll Never See Me Again lyrics on http://www.metrolyrics.com] That it’s everything that we are looking for When I wake up in the morning You’re beside me I’m so thankful that I found Everything that I been loo...

kemaren gue smsan lagi sama dia. dan yahh ngebahas sesuatu yg sama lagi dan lagi dan lagi dan gue cape juga. hahahahaha...yahhh gue sih ga bisa nyalahin dia sih. dia lagi ada di posisi dimana kayanya semua serba salah. hatinya bicara apa, tapi koq sekitarnya semua bicaranya lain. mana yg musti diikutin? heheh..pertanyaan yg kayanya familiar buat semua orang. termasuk gue. hehe..tapi gue mah selalu dengan bebelnya ngikutin kata hati gue. apapun itu dan kemanapun itu membawa gue nantinya. hehehehe..karena gue pernah ngikutin kata orang lain sekali. dan gue sama sekali ngga bisa terima hasilnya. segalanya udahan bukan karena mau gue dan gue masih ngga rela. ujung2nya gue malah bener2 ngga rela dan ga bisa ngelepasin gitu aja. lebih baik nunggu sampe gue sendiri yg bilang "okay, time to let it go" dan semuanya akan bener2 udahan. yah begituhlah gue. hehe...cuma yaaa emank sih. ngikutin kata hati emank ujung2nya ngga selalu indah. mungkin emang orang2 lain lebih pengalaman dan mel...

As life goes on I'm starting to learn more and more about responsibility And I realize everything I do is affecting the people around me So I want to take this time out to apologize for things I have done And things that have not occurred yet And the things they don't want to take responsibility for I'm sorry for the times that I left you home I was on the road and you were alone I'm sorry for the times that I had to go I'm sorry for the fact that I did not know That you were sitting home just wishing we Could go back to when it was just you and me I'm sorry for the times I would neglect I'm sorry for the times I disrespect I'm sorry for the wrong things that I've done I'm sorry I'm not always there for my sons I'm sorry for the fact that I am not aware That you can't sleep at night when I am not there Because I am in the streets like everyday Sorry for the things that I did not say Like how you are the best thing in my world And ...