Pixie's Singing

Well, hi. hehe. another long pause. i turned 24 2 days ago. been great. i had a great time with myself at day and another great time with my friends at night. been dating myself for the whole day. it's supposed to be my time to reflect and think about my life and everything. what have i done..well i got over someone who doesnt really fit me well. i finally got over the bad relationship but i still have to move on with my life. learn again to build a relationship with new person. because i know it's not fair to judge them based on other people's fault. so yeah, i'm learning to trust and to build relationship with new person :) i hope it's gonna be well. i cant guarantee the result will be perfect but i think it's time for me to face my fear. and to come back to reality where you have to deal with other people especially man in my life. haha it seems like romance and man is a big deal in my life right now. oh well yes it is. besides my career that's going on...

i just wonder how you can survive with all those loneliness. i've been sick for today, just sleeping and resting the whole day. noone's around, just talked few times with my sister. and a bit with my friends. i can't bear how lonely it is. i can't imagine how you can survive with that, in jakarta, with your job. wow. another thought came to my mind. i can't ever have the life you have now. i can't keep up with your type of life. a lot of people said you aren't mine. and if i wanna open my eyes that big, i will see reasons why i should be happy with what we have now. walking in different path. it will be such a miracle if one day we will cross each other's path once more. but well, for now i think i should be happy with our situation. i am happy for you and your career. i hope you will never be the bad guy. :)

I dreamed about you few days ago. we went to one reception together. i can see you're walking besides me. and i can see all of our high school friends, staring at us. i was nervous for a reason i can't remember. i was afraid they're talking bad about me or something. i can see their eyes are looking for a fact whether we're together or no. and you gave your hand to me. like in some old movies. and we're holding hands. you told me "now you're not worry anymore right". and i was shocked. i told you i never think it will happen. and you told me that it's finally happening. i was so happy. the scenes were changing and we're meeting my bali friends. we're getting along so well. and we're in another scene. you're eating something and somebody told me "oh he liked it too, just like you. even both of you are different, you're alike in few things" and i just smiled while you're still eating. it was a perfect dream. exactl...

sometimes you must do something, not because of someone else, but because you should love yourself.

I just lost my phone. again. and tired of question 'how come?'. just shut up (after being asked 20 times). anyway i got a new phone. samsung galaxy chat. finally i left nokia. hahaa. it's nice. but the keypad sucks, to be honest. i hope it will last for 1 year or more. and the battery is crazy. need to charge it once a day, and it's a new phone. well. sickness of smartphone :P *playing with new gadget* jimbaran as its best :*