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from i don't know when, patience is the biggest issue in my life. coz i almost has nothing of it. i rush everything at most of the times. i don't have patience to let it works slower than i expect. and get upset when i have to wait for something. i don't like sitting calmly and wait till something happens by itself. coz somehow, i don't believe in doing nothing and let miracle happens by itself. i want and i should be a part of it. i have to do something with intention to reach and achieve something. so yeah, it's kinda hard to just sit and watch. in some cases, yes i do that. but that means the things isn't really important or affecting me at once. so i prefer so sit and watch. but for something i really appreciate and think it's valuable for me, i'd better do something to make it happens.
those things help me reach my goal and ease my path. i will have something i want, and be sure that i will have it by my effort. something like, guaranteed. and i have learned a lot about that since i was a kid. that i have to work it out to make things happen. nothing will come to reality without any effort.
sounds normal? well yeah maybe. but well, life's never be predictable so easy, right? it introduces me to another word name 'patience' instead of 'rush'. and it's totally a new thing for me, and something that has a different direction that what i have believed for so long. it's like someone asking me to swim in the middle of oil instead of water. i probably can do that but it feels wrong. and it's hard. but i have to know it also. and..that happens years ago.
and here i am. still struggling with my biggest enemy and achievement called patience. many things have happened in my life. and i have learned a lot too about that word. but again, sometimes i 'forget' and do things with my own way. and at some cases, it doesn't work anymore. especially when you're dealing with someone else. patience is one of the keywords to make something happen.
there are a lot of things running around my mind at these times. i don't know what i should feel since i don't know what's going on. the person that can tell me is gone for now. i hope he'll come back soon since i start to think strangely now. in terms in bringing my logic and mind again, well i guess i need to talk with him. there are a lot of contradictions on my mind. between my mind and brain and heart. between my fear, my feeling, and my hope. classic. but yet it happens on and on and on and on..sometimes i'm tired of walking and running and jumping and clinging. in the end i just wanna sit and stare. hoping that miracle doesn't think i'm their enemy in the end.
those things help me reach my goal and ease my path. i will have something i want, and be sure that i will have it by my effort. something like, guaranteed. and i have learned a lot about that since i was a kid. that i have to work it out to make things happen. nothing will come to reality without any effort.
sounds normal? well yeah maybe. but well, life's never be predictable so easy, right? it introduces me to another word name 'patience' instead of 'rush'. and it's totally a new thing for me, and something that has a different direction that what i have believed for so long. it's like someone asking me to swim in the middle of oil instead of water. i probably can do that but it feels wrong. and it's hard. but i have to know it also. and..that happens years ago.
and here i am. still struggling with my biggest enemy and achievement called patience. many things have happened in my life. and i have learned a lot too about that word. but again, sometimes i 'forget' and do things with my own way. and at some cases, it doesn't work anymore. especially when you're dealing with someone else. patience is one of the keywords to make something happen.
there are a lot of things running around my mind at these times. i don't know what i should feel since i don't know what's going on. the person that can tell me is gone for now. i hope he'll come back soon since i start to think strangely now. in terms in bringing my logic and mind again, well i guess i need to talk with him. there are a lot of contradictions on my mind. between my mind and brain and heart. between my fear, my feeling, and my hope. classic. but yet it happens on and on and on and on..sometimes i'm tired of walking and running and jumping and clinging. in the end i just wanna sit and stare. hoping that miracle doesn't think i'm their enemy in the end.
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