Pixie's Singing

i just wonder how you can survive with all those loneliness. i've been sick for today, just sleeping and resting the whole day. noone's around, just talked few times with my sister. and a bit with my friends. i can't bear how lonely it is. i can't imagine how you can survive with that, in jakarta, with your job. wow. another thought came to my mind. i can't ever have the life you have now. i can't keep up with your type of life. a lot of people said you aren't mine. and if i wanna open my eyes that big, i will see reasons why i should be happy with what we have now. walking in different path. it will be such a miracle if one day we will cross each other's path once more. but well, for now i think i should be happy with our situation. i am happy for you and your career. i hope you will never be the bad guy. :)

I dreamed about you few days ago. we went to one reception together. i can see you're walking besides me. and i can see all of our high school friends, staring at us. i was nervous for a reason i can't remember. i was afraid they're talking bad about me or something. i can see their eyes are looking for a fact whether we're together or no. and you gave your hand to me. like in some old movies. and we're holding hands. you told me "now you're not worry anymore right". and i was shocked. i told you i never think it will happen. and you told me that it's finally happening. i was so happy. the scenes were changing and we're meeting my bali friends. we're getting along so well. and we're in another scene. you're eating something and somebody told me "oh he liked it too, just like you. even both of you are different, you're alike in few things" and i just smiled while you're still eating. it was a perfect dream. exactl...

sometimes you must do something, not because of someone else, but because you should love yourself.

I just lost my phone. again. and tired of question 'how come?'. just shut up (after being asked 20 times). anyway i got a new phone. samsung galaxy chat. finally i left nokia. hahaa. it's nice. but the keypad sucks, to be honest. i hope it will last for 1 year or more. and the battery is crazy. need to charge it once a day, and it's a new phone. well. sickness of smartphone :P *playing with new gadget* jimbaran as its best :*

you gotta stop chasing a shadow. or a reflection. bcoz it aint goin anywhere. bcoz the person who wants to be in your life, will meet you half way. you dont have to run that far to meet him. he will run to you as well. so when you are running to him, and you're going so far.probably it's not meant to be anything. just stop chasing, turn your back, and come back to your path.

something i believed in, and something i wanna believe for a long time

It's been ages that i've never been writing. my life...is going as it is. having a job, trying to save money to buy a new mobile or if i cant resist, to buy another tickets. hehe. i dont have that much saving. gotta work on myself for that. i've just getting over someone. some people said i must move on earlier. but damn, it's a whole lot process. you cant just forget someone whom give you so much to remember. read that somewhere on pinterest. well but in the end of the day, it's not about the other people. it's bout you and what you want. about you and how you take yourself. about you and how you see yourself. about you and how you value your life and mostly yourself. easier to say than done. hehe. but i'm thankful for every single thing that happened to me. every single smiles and tears i've been through. i am not a perfect person, never will be one. but yeah i am happy and should be happy with my life. sometimes i have tons of things on my mind. a...

Mungkin dia juga sedang mengejar impiannya. Mungkin dia juga sedang mendaki ke atas gunung hidupnya. Tempat dia akan diam nanti, mengingat seberapa banyak langkah yang sudah ia ambil. Mengingat seberapa jauh dia sudah berpindah. Mungkin dia sedang memerangi hidupnya sendiri. Pikiran dan dirinya sendiri. Mungkin dia memang tidak aka nada disana. Karena dua orang bertemu di saat jalan mereka bersinggungan. Dan dua orang akan berpisah di saat jalan mereka menjauh. Dan satu orang tidak akan bisa berjalan di jalan orang lain dan meninggalkan jalannya sendiri. Dan dua orang akan berpisah. Seorang manusia lahir seorang diri ke dunia. Dia akan berjalan di antara hiruk pikuk dan kesunyian dunia. Dalam perjalanannya dia akan bersinggungan jalan dengan banyak orang. Tapi setiap orang punya jalannya masing – masing. Dan setiap orang akan berjalan di jalannya masing – masing. Karena tidak setiap saat kamu akan sendirian. Dan tidak setiap saat kamu akan bersama. Siapapun kapanpun. Berjalanlah di wa...

#nowplaying Beautiful Girl by Jose Marichan. ok forgive me if there's something wrong with the song title of the singer, it what appears in my winamp. anyway, it's been a long time i've never talked about my daily l ife (read : blabbering). hehe..so yeah, i finally turned on my old h dd that has never been turned on for...over a year. and wow, i was like findi ng a hidden treasure. it brings back my memory as i found a lot of old pictures, my song pla ylist s ( thank GOD!) and some of movies i' ve never been watching. so y eaayyyy! am hap py t o finally try to find the cable and turn it on. friends come and go. people come and go. everything come and go. lif e. it's sometimes unfair but it's alwa ys good in the end. i've been holding to something so hard before. until i hurt myself, and i hurt him. just to find out that without holding it, he will still be there. but we decide not to be on the same road anymore. well, i still love him in some ways. b...

I think it's time to sweep away few things I dont need for my future :)

"Segitu ngga beraninya kamu? segitu ngga percayanya?"

we bumped in again. we came back to this point again. when i'm asking you whether we're just friends and you answered me with no . i thought this time we'll be different. i thought this time we'll finally stop running away from our pr oblem and start to confront it. i thought finally things are getting right between us, well pr obabl y it is. i a m a person who will get out an d gra b anything i want. it's better for me to go outside , try to work things out, and fail. inste ad of sta ying inside my safety box and never try things out, and dont know what could happen. that 's the real fail for me. i somehow wish you just t old me 'yes i just want you to know my feeling for th ese years. and i want you to know that i choose my ambition over you'. that's quite simple and logical i suppose. well, again, probably i he ar d it wrong. probably i misinterpret it.  but anyway, here we are again. continuin g our li fe again . and i think this time is f...