Pixie's Singing

i'm dancing in the middle of the mist and running in the middle of teardrops of the sky i'm looking around and see the cloud i'm looking around and see the ground i'm slow dancing in the middle of the lake i'm daydreaming in the middle of the tree

love. 1 word that has a very strong meaning and affects, everywhere. it's said world goes round because of this thing, and people died because of the same thing. being in love, being loved, and loving someone is probably the best thing you can do and feel. but as everything always has 2 sides, it's also something that will destroy you the most. not the true form of love, but maybe what's playing inside our mind and heart does. people may love in different ways. people may see it as different thing. world goes so mad huh? that to describe and feel one thing seems to be so difficult. i feel like i'm riding on a carousel, seeing the world spinning around me, or is it me who's spinning around the world? seeing everything quite blur. while the lights look like many interesting bulbs. i close my eyes and feel the spinning. exhale. inhale. breath. i open my eyes, and the world seems to be as blur as before. image source

This heart is beating just the same without you. but it needs double effort at nights.

there's a little girl staring at the empty road looking at the crowded place watching the world goes on she stops her step and nothing changes other people still walk and other things still happen she sits down and watches the world looking at the road she has been taking looking at the illusion and reality behind her back staring at the next steps she hasn't taken yet she listens to rationale and hope while both of them are yelling two different things with a same subject and object she doesn't believe what she hears she doesn't want to believe what she heard she can't believe what she wants to be true because again, it's not here yet she listens to her mind to go she hears the hope stops that she doesn't even know what it is about and she stays taking a break from everything because again she recognizes the pattern there's time for everything when you are down and you are high when you are glad and you are sad when you are running and then you stop she...

dan dia berdiri, lagi, di persimpangan yang sama yang membawanya ke arah lain yang menempatkannya pada keadaan lain dia berdiri disana melihat sekelilingnya merasa familiar dengan itu semua tapi tidak akan pernah bisa mendeskripsikan secara jelas kapan dia ada disana kemana dia menuju bagaimana dia berjalan dia berharap angin berhembus membawa dirinya tapi angin hanya diam dia berharap matahari menyinari jalannya tapi matahari hanya diam dia berharap awan memayungi dirinya tapi awan hanya dia dan tinggallah dia sendiri dengan hati dan pikirannya dalam hatinya dia tahu tidak selamanya dia akan berdiri disana tidak selamanya dia akan menunggu datangnya jawaban tidak selamanya dia akan ada di tempat yang sama tapi bahkan segala pikiran itu tidak membantunya melangkah dia terdiam berharap seorang akan datang menuntun langkahnya berjalan di sana tapi dia tahu sampai kapanpun jalannya hanya miliknya sendiri dan dia tetap akan berjalan disana..

why do you talk about love when you don't even feel it why do you talk about feeling when something that you feel isn't true when what you feel is not what i feel why are you looking for honesty when you are maybe not looking for one when you are lying in front of me, in front of her why do you talk about life when you don't even respect the way i do it when you don't enjoy your own life and needs other thing to spice it up why do you tell me you miss me and makes me question whether it's true or not and shake up my feeling just to make me stand even stronger even what you feel is true and what i felt was true but it's not our journey to go on it's you..and your life. and it's me..and my life.

i hate the feeling when i'm at my lowest point. because no one can save me but myself. while i'm not capable even to do so. instead, i see myself drowning, deeper and deeper into my own thoughts and feelings. i hate it when i just try to bear than do something. while i try so hard to lift myself and my heart up, know that there's no other hand to reach my hand, and tell me that everything will be fine once again..in the end there's only me with my thought and my heart. all over again.

if there's no other way to fight for what you love and the only way left is to let go, then let it go even it'll kill you inside out if one day it comes back to you it's meant to be.. if not, you'll see life in a different perspective..

what can stop us from living? days pass by time never wait we ain't got much choice than keep walking how glad and hurt we are kiss goodbye 2010 welcome 2011 :)

there's always someone we love but we can't have we love but we shouldn't do we love but never love us back we love but will never be us we love but will never be together we love but will never be forgotten we love..and just love image source

i don't have thousand words to tell you i miss you i don't have thousand reasons why i should though i don't even know whether i miss you or anyone else it doesn't mean i don't be thankful of my life it doesn't mean i don't know i have something bigger up there for me to wish for me to hope for me to still believe that everything will be okay but sometimes.. i just need something solid in front of my face to be hugged to be smiled with to be there.. just to make me believe that i'm not a real loner is it too much?

[Verse] If I were a boy Even just for a day I’d roll outta bed in the morning And throw on what I wanted then go Drink beer with the guys And chase after girls I’d kick it with who I wanted And I’d never get confronted for it. Cause they’d stick up for me. [Chorus] If I were a boy I think I could understand How it feels to love a girl I swear I’d be a better man. I’d listen to her Cause I know how it hurts When you lose the one you wanted Cause he’s taken you for granted And everything you had got destroyed [Verse] If I were a boy I would turn off my phone Tell everyone it’s broken So they’d think that I was sleepin’ alone I’d put myself first And make the rules as I go Cause I know that she’d be faithful Waitin’ for me to come home (to come home) [Chorus] If I were a boy I think I could understand How it feels to love a girl I swear I’d be a better man. I’d listen to her Cause I know how it hurts When you lose the one you wanted (wanted) Cause he’s...

not the WHOLE world i mean. but MY world. my small little tiny bitty..anything but small..world. haha. hmm..why small? because my life is just going through assignments..my room..my computer..food..campus..and lecturers. ahh yeahh..hmm..don't accept any critics of my english.hahahha..i know it's not perfect anyway..just feeling like to write in this kind of way..any way. =P i've just realized many things today. one of them is..don't ever print at Vista Prima. i swear. this is the place that my lecture and a thousand people outside talking about. this SUPPOSED to be a good printing shop. but NOT. a big NOOOOOOOO. i prefer to come back to miso even it's more expensive than to that place where i have to wait for ages and *honestly thx God i'm not the one who did the printing..sorry anyway =P* i don't have any word to explain the result. hmm..one thing is..it makes me feel like dejavu, when i printed my STRAWBERRY milk packagin and got a HALF CHOCOLATE one inst...

padahal lagi banyak2nya. haha. biz turun makan di bawah bareng andrew, kepin, wewei, ma tepen. tuz ketawa2kaya orang tolol. hahaha..apa aja diketawain. versi heboh. hahaha. geblek deh. yg uda pada stress ma tugas. yg udah pada gila. nyampur smuaaa..sip abis. hehehhe. parah deh. smuaaa dibahas. haha. asli bego gila. tpi gpp deh. refreshing di tengah lautan tugas yg makin lama makin dikit waktunya. hahaha. tuz skarang balik lagi k kamar, mo bikin poster. dan masih ada sejuta tugas menunggu. cihuy abisss.. i just wanna close my eyes and find you. standing there. waiting for me. to come home. to be with you. ever and ever. and never let go. with smiles and tears. with everything happens. you know i'll be there. like you have been one for me. ever and ever. one thing remains. it's you and whatever you've done. for every reason i want to hug you tightly. and never let go. for years and months. for me and you. and smile and joy.

dia berdiri di tengah segalanya di tengah ramai orang berjalan di sekelilingnya di tengah semua bisikan dan teriakan dia berdiri di tengah keramaian dan berdiam memandang dunianya memandang orang lain memandang dunianya dan dia masih disana berdiri di tengah segalanya memandang segalanya dan dia tidak beranjak hanya karena dia tidak ingin dan karena dia tidak bisa dan karena dia tidak tahu kemana dia akan pergi kemana dia akan menuju kemana dia akan melangkah kalau dia masih ingin ada disana di persimpangan jalan dia berdiam memandang semuanya dari matanya dan orang lain berlari menari berdiam tertawa menangis terpukau berbalik di sekitarnya dan dia berdiri di tengah segalanya entah ingin beranjak dan berdiam entah ingin memandang dan terpejam dia berdiri dan entah ingin kemana..

there's a name there's always a name around me on my mind in my eyes there's always a name calling my name while i say it seems like sounded by the earth there's always a name that follows me wherever i go whenever i walk there's always a name that the wind blows near me on me there's a name that i believe for me for you for everyone the name that never leave you that never get you lost that helps you whatever you do whatever you say there's always a name that not only a name but everything that gives you life that gives you smile and tears there's a name that protects you wherever you are whom you with there's always a name that the wind tells you that the earth tells praise that the sky lets us know.. there's always a name.. so you believe...

gatau kenapa kayanya guru2 gue lagi cinta banget bikin anak2 muridnya mo gantung diri. tugas buanyaaaaaaaaaaaak banget. pusing gue sampe. hikxhikxhikxx..sedih dah ah. yah gituh deh. gue gtw kelar apa ngga tu tugas. cuapededotcom. hehe. mudah2an ajah yg portrait ntar kelar sbelom sabtu scara gue mo nginap di tempat astri. hehehe. mudah2an jadi juga =P gue senewen juga sih lom kelar tugas. hikx. kemarenan gue stress buanget ngeliatin tugas yg sangat sangat banyak. hikx. kayanya tiada hari tanpa begadang mikirin tugas. ngga mikirin doang juga sih. sutress aja ngerjainnya. haha. yah gituh deh. nih lagi dalam proses smuanya..mudah2an aja kelar dengan baik. masa gada course yg gada tugasnya. monyong buanget. parah de. hikxx beginilah jadi anak kuliahannn..heehhheehe.. talking to you like talking to the wind blowing up but doesn't answer anything seeing you like seeing the lake with its deep dark blue it reflects anything you want to see hoping you like hoping the rainbow to come you'...

dia bertanya kala langit membiru nun jauh di atas angannya menatap jauh dan menemukan sebentuk awan menyapanya dan langit biru terbentang rendah seakan mengajaknya untuk ikut bersamanya mengelilingi dunia bebas seakan dia tidak harus hidup seakan dia boleh memilih untuk bebas dia menatap segala yang ada padanya segala yang ada di sekelilingnya dan dia bertanya sampai kapan dia akan berjalan di jalannya sampai kapan dia akan menjadi dia yang sekarang sampai kapan dia duduk diam dan menatap jalan yang harus dia tempuh jalan yang telah dia jalani dan dia terdiam dan memejamkan matanya kala angin bermain di wajahnya menyapanya halus dan membuka kedua matanya dan kembali menatap apa yang ada di sana kala dia berjalan bersisian dengan rumpun yang berlari mengejarnya dia bertanya sampai kapan dia akan menjadi dia yang sekarang entah kapan dia akan terbang bebas bersama langit biru membuainya bersama angin menari di kedua kakinya bersama segala angan yang selama ini terbang tak tentu arah dan ...

dia terdiam di tengah senandung malam kala sejuta sinar pancarkan cahaya terangi malam dengan indahnya buyarkan hatinya akan lara di sana akan ragu di sana akan cinta disana dan dia memejamkan matanya dan berharap kala dia membuka matanya dia telah pergi dan mendapati dirinya terbang dan mendapati senyuman baginya yang datang menyapanya kala dia terdiam dan mendapati pelukan baginya yang ada baginya kala dia jatuh dan dia memandang kilau bintang di angkasa dan bertanya seperti apa dunia tanpa dirinya seperti apa hidup bila dia tidak ada disana seperti apa dunia dongeng yang selama ini hanya mimpi tidak nyata dan mungkin tidak akan pernah nyata tapi dia hidup di dalamnya tapi dia bernafas di setiap helai daun yang menyapanya tapi dia terbuai di dalamnya dan kala mentari pagi datang bersinar dia pergi dan menutup rapat matanya berharap semuanya segera berakhir dan dia kembali tersenyum palsu dan tidak pernah ada alasan kenapa dia tersenyum kenapa dia kembali dan kenapa dia ada disana dan...

do you hear me calling you up just wishing you turn your head and smile and answer that you're there that you never walk away that you'll always be there instead of you go walking in silence and leave like you've never been here before like you've never done anything before like you're innocent do you hear me calling you wishing you'll answer wishing you're here again in my complete memory just like before just like what i wish..