Sparkles

it was always funny how i get attracted to a person. to a guy. they usually appeared to be quite sparkling among the others. they're like a metal in the middle of thousand paper colours. they're different. because they're made of metal and the rest is just paper. somehow. that's usually how i spotted the guy i like. there's something in them. something interesting for me that makes me notice them. they dont always be the good guy in the end. but well...

its never been easy to say goodbye. to face the truth that something isnt working out the way you want. and the situation is just not right for you to keep understanding. again i should really tell myself that its not anyone's fault. our needs dont meet and we cant walk together. that's all.

like everyone else i always wish i can be more understanding. i can be more phlegmatic. i can be more...loving? i dont know. i can hide my ego away so it doesnt ruin anything. probably. but well i need to feel that im loved too. that im respected too. mostly loved.

it somehow sounds egoist. but...i dont know.

in my mind, i always wish to have someone's perfect for me. not perfect. but perfect for me. it means there is still process and we gotta walk and meet halfway. but im still looking for the little thing that will keep us walking when the storm's coming. i havent found it in anyone, yet.

years from now probably i will laugh to read this again. i hope by that time i have grown better and better and happy with my life.

for now, bye bye sparkles.