Swimming in a New Pod
Few years have passed since I stopped writing. I used to write almost everyday, about my day, my feeling, my thoughts, a lot. Then life happened and I kinda stopped. Which I regret now...hehe I never realized how therapeutic blogging was. It gives me a place and time to feel, to swear, to be thankful, to create my world, to open my mask and basically to get in touch with myself.
Now that I'm not 9-5 person anymore, I just got time to do a lot of things I've been wanting to do. No my life didn't turn 180 degree just in a snap. There are many things I have to take care inside. It's thousands baby steps I'm gonna go through.
I started reading again, a real book. I started drawing again..and now writing. It's funny how simple things actually mean a lot to me. It brings me closer to myself and gosh...how far I've been leaving it. Because I'm busy, because other things are more important, because other things are more interesting. But really nothing is more important than having a real 'conversation' with your body and soul. I learned it the hard way :D
Just few months ago I just found out I have autoimmune. Well it's written in my DNA but mostly triggered (and maybe worsen) by my lifestyle, environment, and how I treat myself. For me, it's basically my body is raging after being put into a certain condition that it's not happy. haha sorry body. Stressing about work too much, about other people, about everything else that I can't fully control. I'm not taking care enough of myself and that's the result :D Nah I'm not complaining, I think it's a really good reminder. My body knows how to slap me hard.
So yeah, here me now. Trying to get back to a path I once knew. I quit my job, moved to a new place, and tried to adjust myself to a new pace. My current condition doesn't allow me to be too tired and stress..so I took more naps haha.
But of course my overthinking trait couldn't just stay silent. It worries a bout a looooooottttt of things. I'm trying not to silence it but to deal with it. Somehow I need to make peace with it, it has some good sense, but I also need to keep balance in my mind. Sometimes it wins, sometimes I win. hehehe...
There are times when I'm so afraid, question what I'm doing, and hope I won't put myself in my own grave. There are other times I'm very thankful of what I did, happy for small things, and just being at peace.
I'm not sure how 'hurt' myself really is at the moment and how far I should walk to pick myself up. But well, life always has a certain way to teach me something. And here I am, being that little fish in a bigger pod than before. Keep swimming...
Now that I'm not 9-5 person anymore, I just got time to do a lot of things I've been wanting to do. No my life didn't turn 180 degree just in a snap. There are many things I have to take care inside. It's thousands baby steps I'm gonna go through.
I started reading again, a real book. I started drawing again..and now writing. It's funny how simple things actually mean a lot to me. It brings me closer to myself and gosh...how far I've been leaving it. Because I'm busy, because other things are more important, because other things are more interesting. But really nothing is more important than having a real 'conversation' with your body and soul. I learned it the hard way :D
Just few months ago I just found out I have autoimmune. Well it's written in my DNA but mostly triggered (and maybe worsen) by my lifestyle, environment, and how I treat myself. For me, it's basically my body is raging after being put into a certain condition that it's not happy. haha sorry body. Stressing about work too much, about other people, about everything else that I can't fully control. I'm not taking care enough of myself and that's the result :D Nah I'm not complaining, I think it's a really good reminder. My body knows how to slap me hard.
So yeah, here me now. Trying to get back to a path I once knew. I quit my job, moved to a new place, and tried to adjust myself to a new pace. My current condition doesn't allow me to be too tired and stress..so I took more naps haha.
But of course my overthinking trait couldn't just stay silent. It worries a bout a looooooottttt of things. I'm trying not to silence it but to deal with it. Somehow I need to make peace with it, it has some good sense, but I also need to keep balance in my mind. Sometimes it wins, sometimes I win. hehehe...
There are times when I'm so afraid, question what I'm doing, and hope I won't put myself in my own grave. There are other times I'm very thankful of what I did, happy for small things, and just being at peace.
I'm not sure how 'hurt' myself really is at the moment and how far I should walk to pick myself up. But well, life always has a certain way to teach me something. And here I am, being that little fish in a bigger pod than before. Keep swimming...
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