What a Time..

Sometimes we can't control when we feel helpless, or when we feel like we found our strength back. This current time has been amazing and scary for me. I discovered so much about myself, bad and good. It's a journey to get to know myself more, in a way that never happened before. I remember the life before now, too many things to do, too many things to think, just too many thinks. Now? Well still, I occupy my mind with a lot of stuff too sometimes too much even to bear. Healthy? Not so much. Sometimes I do it just to escape boredom. Then I lose some sleeps. And I lose more sleeps. Then I hit the break.

Life has taught me so many things recently, that I'm thankful for. So many good things about me and my life that I took for granted before. Life proves to me that there's enough. Enough for me. 

But then life reminds me again of the monsters inside I've been avoiding. Some that I thought I have encountered or made peace with. Apparently not. 

I can't help but feel helpless when they arise. Of course there are some triggers. They arise and I was shocked that they're still there. It weighs so much that sometimes I lose sights of what I should feel or do. It's scary. 

People in my life is such a blessing. Without them, I'll be lost even more. Some of them listen, some others share the same burden, they make me feel that I'm not alone and I'm not the only one who feels that way. Helps are always available. Helps are always on the way. Something I need to make sure, that myself knows that. 

It's so easy to be lost in your own current. It's so easy to lose sight of who you are. It's even so easy to forget that you know yourself. Time like this, a lot of things can happen to you, mentally and physically. I know we owe it to ourself to take care of us. We should. Sometimes we need help. And we need to be able to ask and open our heart and mind to the help. 

Life hurts, sometimes. Life's hard too. It's unpredictable and can get depressing at times. I wish we'll all make it. I believe there's something we can always get from every unfortunate situation. I hope we all can find it and make it our strength. I hope we all get to know ourself, accept it, appreciate it. Because it's true, if you can't value yourself, how will other people do it?

We may not be perfect. Heck let's admit we don't like ourself sometimes. It could happen. But somehow you gotta remind yourself that self-love comes first. We're just as cracked as everybody else. We have our own demons, our own problems. We're also as good as everybody else. When we know ourself that much, I wish we can all find our strength and walk this life with more courage.