Being True

I watched  A Star is Born without that much expectation. The hype was too much I though. And I left the movie amazed. I love the stories, the characters, the songs..it’s a great movie.

One of the things I got from it is when Jackson told Ally to be true to herself. “If you are not being true to yourself out there, you’re fucked” that’s not the exact words but that’s what I remember.

I believe that it’s true. One of the wisest things I got from a movie. And these days, it seems those words became truer and truer. I somehow feel the world is spinning so fast and without clear direction. The current issue is still boiling. It’s not safe yet, the economic condition worsen, people started to ignore warnings. A lot of people do what they can to survive. More businesses appeared, more things came to surface.

Part of it is good. Maybe finally we have the time to get to know ourself and what we can do. I sometimes got anxious. So many talents out there, so many things to choose out there, so many things going on out there.

What if I’m too slow? What if I’m doing it wrong? What if it doesn’t work? What should I do differently? What should I do to make money? Is it the time to slow down? Is it the time to push the engine? What about the money? What about the future?

It can go on and on and on and on and I wouldn’t know the answer. It takes courage to stop the overthinking. To take a deep breath. And to talk to myself what I want. And how I want it. That is this thin line I’m walking, to keep moving forward, while still be conscious about whatever happens around me but still be true to myself, to what I want. It takes a certain peace of mind to keep walking and not falling to one side too deep. Can I do it? Yes, but not perfectly. Once in a while I fell, deep. And I need extra courage to get up and come back to that thin line. 

I find peace, when I believe in what I want. That I believe I can achieve it. And that I should believe that I can. And I shouldn’t give it up. I shouldn’t destructively compare myself and what I’m doing with other person. That’s just toxic. 

Once and for all, I should be true to myself. Because what else you can be in the wide ocean full of possibilities? I’ll be fucked if I’m trying to be someone and something I am not. Because I’ll never be good at it. This is surely an interesting time to get to know oneself. To learn how to breath and make peace with one own mind.