current updates
the beautiful days are still going by. even it's going to rain soon here. hehehe. well, i'm still waiting for my new brief of freelance works. finally the flash banner has been accepted and approved after quite revisions. it's a really good news for this new year! hahaha.. still have to do 2 more works until my payment day. hehehe..
i'm also selling few goods; purse, bag, and some accecories. some i bought here and some i bought when i was in thailand. semoga laku. heheheh. so far dompetnya udah laku 2 dan backpacknya udah di taken. yay! :) hope everything else will go away soon too :P
i was chatting with my bestfriend now..and we're talking about relationship and marriage thing. it reminds me of a dream i had around march last year. well, it's the most meaningful dream i have ever had.
in my dream, i was already married with a man. but my 'husband' was keep changing from asian to western people, so i guess, i have quite a range of husband. hahahah. so we've been married. one day i was going out with some girls and have, as usual, girls talk. one of my friend said that 'sometimes we searched for a something better, without realizing that he's the best that we can have'. i was complaining about something that time.
then the scene changed. i was going out again with my friends, there 4 of us. suddenly my 'husband' came and accused me of having an affair. but i told him that i didn't. he didn't believe me. then worse things happened. we're having arguments and fighting each other. he kept telling me that i'm having affair with someone, while he came to me with a girl on his side. things got more complicated. fighting, screaming, and everything. he destroyed my friend, literally.
then after everything, i collapsed. woke up again. felt a bit better and relieved. walked down to a store with my girls. it's my 'husband' store. then we sat and talked.
me : "now tell me why i didn't break up with him"
she : " yeah you know the article about seeing your partner as a new person each day"
me : " yeah but that's a shit. how can i see him as a new person each day? like forgiving his sins and so on?"
she : " not everyone can be a father of your kids"
and i remained silent. something that always reminds me of a family affair. they're still together because of their children. how hard and impossible the situation is. and yes, i did the same in my dream. and that time, i really felt that it's so damn hard to be a woman, a wife. sometimes you're the one who must keep standing to make everything alright. everything depends on you. and even your burden is hard and heavy too, you gotta keep standing so other people will be still strong. hard. but..what else can we do?
i believe that all things can happen when we're married. all the problems, even the most impossible one can happen. we can only be strong still, get up, and still walking. fyuh..*merenung*
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