singing pixie

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Ah gue lagi pusing. sungguh! bukan cuma dunia dia yg ancur!!! emang dipikir gue sekarang tertawa bahagia? enak ajah! gue tau apa yg gue ambil emang kedengerannya jahat. tapi gue udah ga tau jalan lain. ngga ngerti how to fix it right now. gue juga setengah mati teh ngadepin dunia gue! emang dia doang!!!! NGGA!!!!!! ngerti ga sih rasanya cuma jadi disaster aja buat tiap orang? ngerti ga sih rasanya pas tau lu cuma bisa nyakitin seseorang yang sayang sama elu? itu sama sekali ngga gampang tau! beneran deh. ngga dengan wajah gue yg baik2 ajah tuz gue emang baik2 ajah. ngga! i rarely show my true feeling in front of someone else. emank susah urusan sama gue. gue aja susah ngertiin diri gue sendiri. tapi tolong deh..ngga cuma dunia dia yg ancur. ngga cuma hatinya dia yg ancur..gue juga gituh. cuma ini yang harus dibayar buat mempertahankan apa yang gue anggap benar. gue ga bisa nyari jalan lain. kalo emang udah ngga bisa kenapa harus maksa? gue ga bisa jalanin sesuatu yang fake. ga makna buat gue. kalo emang ngga yah mending ga usah. emang kedengerannya tega. jahat. or apalah. terserah. tapi ini urusan hati. bukan pake logika yg masih bisa dibentuk2. ngga!

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