brand new everything

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finally i found a way to change my background layout. yahay!! hehehe. love this one so much. =) great website source of course. XD i got it from the internet. hehe. i haven't done any experiment making my own layout. hehe. i edited some things to synchronize with my own style. =D tadaaa~ LOVELOVELOVE. hehehhe

hm. i'm feeling quite flat today. okay since yesterday. haha. damn me and my roller coaster mood.

you are the one who choose to make someone your best friend. if that person doesn't think your are one, it's not his fault because he never ask you to do so.

that something struck my mind yesterday. it comes from one of my best friends. it's not about me and her anyway. but still, it makes me think "oh, so somebody can think like this to another person." ehm..maybe for some cases it happens. for other cases, i don't know. remember the theory in a relationship, any relationship, one will give more than the other. ehm. yes it's fucking true. i'm not saying i'm always be the one who gives everthing everytime. nope. but not, i'm not taking everything from other person as well. even i'm an egoist person, i love someone with all my heart if i feel it.

i don't know. let's be a little more egoist. i'm tired waiting them replying my sms. i'm tired calling them first everytime i'm online. i'm tired waiting them to have time for me. i'm tired of being someone who always wait and wait and wait and never been told the reason clearly. i'm tired of being the one who keeps contact. i'm tired of being the one who always looks for other and never been looked back. i'm tired of chasing everyone's shadow. i'm tired of being confused about who i am and who they are. i'm tired of keeping my pain and showing smiles. i'm tired of being fake. i'm tired of being what i have been. i'm tired of being so angelic and so understanding. i'm tired to hear "i'm busy right now" for million times. i'm tired keeping all the memories as my treasure. i'm tired looking out there finding they even don't care.

and i don't care what you or everyone think of me now.

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