living the death

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i'm living in shadow. of the past. the sweet memories of the past. every laughs and tears. every sunshine i ever felt. every smile i have seen. everything i have walked through. call me a dreamer. but i can't leave them behing. call we weak. the truth is i can't ever let it go that easy. even i know everything has changed. simply because the world itself has been changing also. it's so natural and normal. but i can't change that easy for some reasons and things. maybe i just never realized how much i live from the past. in it. never want to change anything. it feels so perfect. now. yes, i know. we never know what we have got until it's gone. maybe. but i never want it to be gone. never mean that to be happen. i just can't. losing my past is like losing myself. losing part of myself. big one. i can't stand on it now. no. just feel so hard to let everything go. as it is. call me an agoist person. yes maybe i am. even i know nothing can be the same forever. maybe just some sorts of things. but almost everything will change later on. i can't move on that fast. i can't. i don't know what had happened. what happens now. everything. i just can't think. and feel so stucked

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