if he's not the one....right now

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dari semua yang berjalan dan berlalu dalam dirinya. satu jejak tak terhapus dan bertakhta indah di sana. satu orang yang ada di sana. membuatnya tertawa, menangis, berharap, tersesat, bahagia, indah, dan sederet kata kerja tak sama arti. mengapa dia masih ada di sana kala hatinya tersayat. mengapa ia masih ada di sana kala sakit itu masih ada. dan dari hatinya ia tahu. bahwa dia tetap ada di sana walau ia berkata pergi. bahwa ia masih ada di sana kala kakinya membawanya pergi jauh. dan kala ia berpaling lalu kembali. dan bayangnya tinggal di sana. menatapnya bisu seakan bertanya, kemana kau pergi? ia ingin menyahut dan kemudian tersadar di sana bayangnya berdiri. bisu. tuli. diam. sepi. bahwa setiap ia kembali kelam itu menyambutnya. kala ia berpaling kembali sepi itu datang dan berdiam. hujan itu turun dan terus turun. membasahi bumi dengan riaknya. menetes merdu di antara kelopak matanya. dan kala ia menengadah dan menemukan dia kembali. berdiri di sana. dengan segala apa yang dia punya. dengan sempurna yang ia lihat. dan kala itu ia datang. tersenyum di atas pedih hatinya. tertawa di antara tangisan lirihnya. kala ia menunggu dan mencari. kala ia tidak pernah menemukan. namun kala ia datang dan singgah. saat itulah dia tersenyum.

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